A, E, I, O, U Sometimes Y
07-14-05, 7:35 PM

Two days I�ve been dealing with jackasses who seem for no other reason want to steam roll over me. I don�t budge and when push comes to shove, I don�t pull punches and go on the attack. I long for a job where I don�t have to be politically correct and guard my words.

Having stopped at BW3�s for a couple, I suggested we, a co-worker drinking buddy, stop by the corner bar because it is within stumbling distance. Seeing the commotion at the end of the bar, a woman saw me smiling and waved me over to join them. Pulling up the barstool I ask, �What are you playing?�

�It�s fun! A person names a band or a musician then the next person has to name another band or musician beginning with the last letter found in the previous named band. For example, if Jim says �Eric Clapton� then the next person has to name a band that begins with �n�, like �Nine Inch Nails�. If you use a name already said, you get a strike. Also, if you can�t come up with a name, you get strike. Two strikes and you�re out the game. Lastly, you can�t run to the jukebox to cheat.�

With roughly twelve beers in my belly already, I�m thinking this would be an easy game due to my wealth of useless knowledge of pop culture and music. This couldn�t be further from the truth as I got a strike on my first turn by drawing a blank with the letter N. Alcohol � not good�ruins the mind.

The second time around, I pulled a band�s name out of my ass which earned the respect of the older crowd -- Dr. Hook and the Medicine Show, a band from the late Sixties with the hit �Rolling Stone�. With this answer, I became a force to be reckoned with and followed-up with other artists in Country, Rock and Rap genres.

The flaw of the game: most responses end in �S� or �D� or �E�. For a while, all I got were E�s and it seemed as though I was going to get my last strike when I pulled another amazing answer out of my ass � EBN-OZN, a one hit wonder band of the eighties with �A, E, I, O, U, Sometimes Y�.
�Challenge!� shouted a guy from the corner.

�Oh, you don�t want to mess with him because he is always right. He used to be an Executive with *rista Records.�

�You don�t believe me?�

�No, I think you�re lying.�

�I can even describe the cover: yellow background with two guys standing� one with black hair the other with blonde who looked like a whimpy David Lee Roth.� I even named the song and year but he still believe me.

�You�re getting a strike.�

�Bullshit!� I whip out my cell phone and start searching on the net as the game went on. Sure enough, whamo!

The game continued and people were dropping left and right and finally I was the only one remaining. A guy dressed like a cowboy was sitting to my left and by this time I was five sheets to the wind. Yes, five sheets.

He claimed he only needed $50,000 to start a business that would earn him millions. So, I wrote him a check. I hope he didn�t cash it because I don�t get paid until next week.

When I started to think two bar patrons were spying on me, then I knew it was time to go. I was ten sheets to the wind. I believed they wanted to see if I would divulge knowledge about a military base I designed years ago. Luckily, I was only thinking these thoughts and not saying them aloud. At least I don�t recall saying it aloud. So, immediately I got up and went home without paying my tab and inadvertently leaving my credit card behind.

In my stupor, I grabbed my blanket off the bed and slept on back porch�s carpeted cement with the dogs. Maybe I should grow up and not drink so much?! Nah....what else is there to do but sing �A, E, I, O, U sometimes Y�!

Yesterday - Tomorrow