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Szalonna, Worth One Day of Your Life
09-09-05, 5:37 PM

Two days scouring the internet searching for a hard to find, if not impossible, a butcher who would overnight express deliver Szalonna, a Hungarian seasoned, fatty bacon that is roasted on a stick like marshmallow and grease dripped upon seeded, rye bread with Bermuda Onions, Green Peppers and Tomatoes, lead to nothing but an exasperated fruitless search. With today�s health conscious diet and knowledge of artery clogging food, this heart attack bullet food is now frowned upon but eating it at least once every few years probably eliminates only one day out my life for each delicacy occasion.

Clicking a variety a web-links, I learned Szalonna has become even increasingly difficult to find within Cleveland�s West Side Market where, in the past, just aa bout any ethnic meat could be found, however farmers are producing leaner meats more so than ever before. Hence, finding this hunk of bacon fat has become my search for the Holy Grail! Another surprising web link is to the SzalonnaGang which has adult humor and merchandise pertaining to this social and ethnic aspect and satirizes with pig cartoon characters sitting around an open fire and mugs of beer.

What caused this yearning for grease drippings upon bread? Labor Day. Yes, Labor Day! Years ago, before nutritional science existed and producing Surgeon General's warnings, my grandfather and family would gather around an open pit fire July 4th and Labor Day and make dozens upon dozens of this scrumptious toast. My grandfather and adults also would wash down the greased bread with Wild Turkey �shooters� and become happily hammered with greasy smiles upon their faces. By the way, my grandfather died around age sixty-five and my grandmother lived to eighty-four or so. Due to his shorten life span, I deduce he must have snuck a few loaves of greased covered bread down his throat when no one was looking or too drunk to care.

The other night while playing poker on the computer once again, I saw upon my shelf the special �speck� knife he used to trim the crispy, bacon pieces from the hunk of roasting fat and realized that my nieces and nephews never participated in such a spectacle. I thought it to be my duty to introduce them to such ceremony of: finding the perfect, green stick to cut and whittle for the well-balanced roasting skewer; the patience in building a flameless but hot fire; stacking rye bread with the appropriate placement to catch grease drippings; the smell of thinly sliced onions, tomatoes and peppers; and the family joking, laughing around the fire and smelling of hickory smoke.

In XXXXXXXXXX (insert southeast city), September and October are filled with ethnic festivals yet the Hungarians are not representative. Not that this surprises me because I found an online link to a small Hungarian club of 54 members or so who met only once or twice, whereas back in Cleveland, my former hometown, there seems to be greater population, yet dwindling and now de-centralized from the neighborhood. Like most Americans, I�m a mutt but predominantly Hungarian, 50%. With Hungarians, ethnic percentage doesn�t seem to matter just as long as you appreciate rich foods, some being life shortening, but most that leave impressionable memories and the phrase, �Oh my god this good! Damn, this is good!�

In the end, I found a butcher shop in Mentor, Ohio that has Szalonna and advertise it as �thick speck�. Although they deliver, I don�t think they�ll make the drive to Louisville but, I believe it to be worth it! Do you think in the �old world� they had overnight delivery! Now, only if I could convince them to Fed-Ex me a big, old hunk of Szalonna! If not, I do have an airline ticket I have to use before November. Szalonna is worth the sacrifice and a couple days off my life!

Yesterday - Tomorrow

Here we go again... - 10-06-10
fuck you. - 07-02-08
A new blog - 04-13-08
New site: The Running Bob - 03-16-08
Tax Man Encourages Hobbies? - 03-11-08
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