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Missed Oppurtinity Bumbled Away in Perfumed Self-doubt
09-17-05, 12:50 PM

Realizing most women want a suave invitation to a date, I looked forward to meeting the Legislative Assistant to discuss �issues� with the utility companies in order to ask her out for dinner. Throughout the week, we exchanged quite a few emails, all of which humorous, but under the guise of: How are going to solve some of these political issues?

Our discussion about �utility issues� pried bar open a door that permitted flirtatious advances in a banter to discover more about each other. Soon, we were inquiring about family heritage, education attainment, sporting activities and discovering we both like to run. I perceived these topics as conversations to size-up a potential mate, and as result the deal breaker issues of religion and drinking arose.

How so?

She recently returned from Europe visiting Austro-Hungarian area taking in the sights and visiting Catholic relics. Now, I�m interested in travel, especially European cities, but not so much into religion because after sixteen years of Catholic education and recent child molesting scandals thereby causing me to become cynical about religion. Hence, I had to determine if she was a bible, thumping southern gal with morals. I mean, after all, I really, really, really, really enjoy bars, bands, beer and distrust organized religion. Laughter will be barometer, therefore I introduced her to The Flying Spaghetti Monster!

If she were to laugh in response, all is good, however if she never replied again, I blew it because she previously wrote, and to paraphrase her, �...in the South, they only drink, that is if they drink, in celebration of Him...�

�Oh, Boy!� I thought in response. After her reading the Flying Spaghetti Monster, I�ll quickly know her position on religion because I do believe there is direct, inverse correlation between global warming and the diminishing pirate population. No doubt, the Flying Spaghetti Monster is a valid religion based upon intelligent design.

Nine emails later with professionalism out the window, I interpret the quick, witty emails as an �okay� on the religion aspect and an interest in me. I then looked forward to discussing �utility issues� with her at the meeting the following morning.

Well, the meeting wasn�t in the morning but rather in the afternoon. Even though, I showed early for coffee and conversation with her, the meeting time had been changed. Later in the afternoon, we finally meet again and began checking things off on my dating checklist: runner - check; sense of humor- check; intelligent- check; smiles-check�; calls bullshit- check; dishes bullshit- check; direct when needed- check; looks good- check; smiles-check; under 5'6" � check (I purposely stood next to her to assess her vertical limitations). Okay, everything is looking good on the check-list but when I stood next to her, there is one perfume in this world that just turns my head and melts me and she was wearing it! I only know two other people who wore this: my old girlfriend in senior year high school and a woman sitting in front of me in the movie theater. I didn�t watch the movie but instead took deep breaths to fill my lungs. In fact this morning, I swear a hint of her perfume lingers. What does this perfume do? Makes me a complete blithering idiot. I can�t speak, my heart beats a little faster and of course, I just want to be in her presence to take in her scent.

The meeting ends with the utility guys walking away, then she directly speaks to me, �Bob, I want you to stay so we could talk about these shelters.� -- a veiled ploy to speak to me! Herein lies the difficulty, through email exchange our words could be carefully chosen and facial expressions hidden behind a computer screen, now all is revealed.

In hind sight, I know what should have happened: I should have asked her for a coffee or lunch date but the perfume overwhelmed me; raced my heart; and I became self-conscious of face to face rejection yet also at d the prospects of starting a relationship because my life�s direction is neither certain north, south, east or west. Like in the email, a word or subject allowed an easy segway to other topics, but I couldn�t find one in this situation � I became putty. Instead, like un-assured I offered an excuse of an next appointment and left my last week�s effort to know her falling flat on my face.

Returning to the office for another appointment, I resented lack of initiative to delve back into a relationship. Sitting at my desk, staring at the screen, I couldn�t let crescendo of interest past. A confident man would call and ask for a date, my actions say otherwise. �Hey X, I really enjoyed talking with with you and wondered if you would be interested in drinks after work?� Something written short and to the point may have worked. Perhaps, I should mention her perfume, too? Instead with her scent still upon me and neurons blissfully firing, I failed miserably. I can�t even write what I emailed due to embarrassment. It wasn�t me at all.

No response, yet.

There will be more opportunities. Damn, sophisticated adult relationships!

Yesterday - Tomorrow

Here we go again... - 10-06-10
fuck you. - 07-02-08
A new blog - 04-13-08
New site: The Running Bob - 03-16-08
Tax Man Encourages Hobbies? - 03-11-08
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