A.M. Thunderstorm, Eyes Wide Open
09-20-05, 4:06 AM

It is 3:08 a.m. At my nieces� request for a loud thunderous downpour, God answered her Sunday dinner�s prayer with brilliant flash of lights and booming, house rattling thunder that scared the dogs to hide in the bathtub, a place they are both afraid of (ie. bath time) and seek shelter. Why? I don�t know: they�re dogs. I hope my niece is awakened because I can�t fall back asleep due too much on my mind.

Excited at the prospect a �yes� to a date, I now have to find an unique place that permits conversation � at her suggestion even coffee will do. I take this as a hint of doubt on her part but what are first dates other than a prolonged interview over some sort of beverage or food? Well, I�m thinking something simple like a wine/coffee house � small tables that suggests intimacy.

Work today...I�m finally getting a breath of air now at 3:18 a.m because I was slammed all day where I was knocking-off tasks left and right only to receive a distressed phone call from a Legislative Assistant at 4:50 p.m: causing me to drive to the opposite side of town during rush hour. Apparently, a site plan was mis-labeled and an asphalt sawcut occurred at the wrong place. Needless to say the property owner wasn�t happy but immediately I said, �I�ll repair it�. What bothered me was that I should have been more familiar with the plan but at the time I didn�t care because I wanted out of this city and was hitting the interview circuit. Look at me now, fixing problems that I created from months back. Damn, that previous entry was so true. Maybe, I�m only happy and feel useful when I�m solving problems? The pathetic part is that these problems could have been avoided. Oh well, a lesson learned.

The other lesson is insisting on my boss to follow proper design procedures rather than cost saving measures that produce half-ass design. But, what did I care? I was leaving and today�s problem would have been his to solve. Another lesson learned: don�t cut corners and my gut instinct and professional knowledge is right. What does he know? He�s not educated in these areas.

Back to the other girl � Am I reading into things or does her remembering my name and greeted with a big smile mean anything? About a month ago, the women of interest were in a meeting with me: one, a few years older than me and the other a few years younger. The shallow Bob comes forward in that I find them equally attractive but the age differences could make a difference to me. Why? I guess we�ll find out later this week. I�ve only dated someone older once in my life when I was 22 and she 34 but the age difference is not that extreme this time. Besides, at your age, age shouldn�t matter but rather common interests and attraction.

So, she smiled and remembered your name: it means nothing. Yes, but she has stunning blue-gray eyes, reddish-brown hair, perfect height, common interests at least professional-wise but you haven�t had a true conversation. The kicker is that she let me know that she spoke with the woman I have a date with later this week. Could this be a coincidence? Probably not because we were seeking the same information based upon our previous meeting but paranoia sets because I wanted to flirt with her. I wonder if she knew?

The thought to date both comes to mind but I�ve never been a good juggler but isn�t this what �mature adult� relationships permits? My perception may be skewed these days since I�m �old� and the dating pool now consists of freshly divorced people seeking their second or third marriage. It�s a rarity to find the �never been married� who are in the thirties, yet I still look for the gem who avoided the �trial marriage� syndrome. I suppose this is an unqualified judgement I pass because I view, or viewed, marriage as �the rest of your life�, so you better not blow it. (Not much time left for you, buddy! Get over it.) Then again, I�m not such a gem and have undeserved judgement passed upon me: �He�s not married, yet? What is wrong with him?� Judgement is a two-way street and I don�t hold myself above it. Well, maybe just a little. Hell, I see plenty of my faults!

3:49 a.m. At this time, stress seems to be lifting where I could go back to bed and fall asleep to CNN and most likely, over-sleep past the alarm. Or, if I stick it out, I may be able to go for a 5:30 a.m. jog in the park. Of course, it may be raining but, figuratively, I should enjoy this because, �I�m only happy when it rains.� (Garbage.) It�s pouring again.

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