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Former Jock Star -Get Me a Gun
12-16-05, 10:43 AM

Every morning without fail, justification or prompting, the now late forties and former high school and college basketball jock/star, who stands 6� 8� tall, barricades me in my office for hours, not only with his immense stature and pointless conversations about his air condition unit, office gossip, former girlfriends and the ones that got away; but, also his 1980�s coiffed hair that surpasses Siegfried or Roy�s, whomever the blonde dude is, that blocks the doorway.

About three weeks ago, the guy finally got a hair cut at the world�s suggestion to leave the 80�s behind. Now the haircut was a slight, but noticeable, improvement but there was much to be chopped yet. All these months of suggestions vanished in a split a second with comment by a fifty-ish lady at a ribbon cutting ceremony who complimented him on his finely manicured �big hair�. Son of a bitch! You don�t realize how distracting 80�s hair is! You just can�t take a person seriously.

Today, I learned about his plumbing problems, (a leak in the pipe that flooded a neighbor's unit and insurance woes) and the government�s new regulations regarding air conditioners and how it is going to affect him as his needs to be replaced. This was not enough as he became animated about his crazy mother-in-law's antics and his Wednesday night at the local dive bar�s �Customer Appreciation Night�. I know the characters in the dive but really haven�t engaged in conversations as their foot is the grave while the other hand chain smokes to ensure the finality. However, the co-worker explained, in great detail, what they drank and who they were talking to, yet he never broached a conversation with these patrons. I would consider shooting myself but don�t have a side arm at the office.

We have an unwritten courtesy rule throughout the office: when �former high school and college basketball jock/star� enters your office and takes up your time for more than twenty minutes, another co-worker will call your phone extension to send the �former high school and college basketball jock/star� scurrying to the next office because he finally figured-out by the bell that you have work. Mind you, my non-verbal cues of staring at the computer and typing and mumbling a disinterested �hmmm�� didn�t work Nor, the direct approach of �Hey, I have work to get done.�

Finally, the phone rings! Son of a bitch he�s back yet he had no idea I�ve been typing this whole thing and creating the drawing while he is present.

Yesterday - Tomorrow

Here we go again... - 10-06-10
fuck you. - 07-02-08
A new blog - 04-13-08
New site: The Running Bob - 03-16-08
Tax Man Encourages Hobbies? - 03-11-08
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