In Need of Distractions
01-17-05, 11:06 AM

Breaking someone�s heart, hurts both. When taking a risk for love, there are no winners when it ends like this.

Last night, I broke-up with the girl and I felt so miserable for doing so because I could see the pain in her eyes. I didn�t want her to hurt. I didn�t want her to feel bad about herself either. She really is a nice person but I just didn�t feel love between us. How could I console her? Upon the realization, she wanted to be rid of me and ran through the house and threw the Christmas and birthday gift in a bag and told me to take them. I didn�t want them. "If it makes you feel better, you could burn them or throw them out." I turned to walk out the door and muttered a barely audible and shakey, �I�m sorry.�

I went to my local watering hole to drink my �shmuckness� away. She called me on the cell and stated something to the effect of �...I will fight for you...� With these words, I had to drink more because I thought I should have ended it awhile back upon her revelation but pursuing her seemed worth the risk at the time. Unfortunately, I think her condition held me back from loving her. I really don�t feel good about myself this morning.

I need distractions. Lot�s of distractions.

Yesterday - Tomorrow