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Still Single After All These Years
01-23-05, 11:12 PM

Friday, either depression or exhaustion struck because I went to bed around 7:30 p.m. and slept until 9 a.m. Fully rested, no make that completely rested, one would think a four mile run would be a snap but after a half mile I threw in the towel and headed home to resolve some issues.

Tonia called claiming they were to run four as well late in the day. Before she hung-up though, she stated that HR Block will be filing her taxes this year because of a tax estimator program she found on MSN.com that estimated a tax payment near $1,000. Immediately, I tried the same web-site which set the motion for a panic attack because my estimate came to $3,700. What do I do? I jump in the car and head to the park to finish the four mile that I never completed and came away with the same result - stop after � mile.

Then, with five bucks in my pocket, I sought comfort in a sack of 10 White Castles. With a sugary soda in hand and a sack of grease in the other, Turbo Tax became my friend and quickly calculated that I�ll receive a return of nearly $700 from the Feds. Not bad, but not the three grand I�ve been hoping to grace my bank account.

Since I ordered the �former girl� Victoria Secret lingerie, for the first time in my life, I, Bob, am personally on Victoria Secret�s mailing list and my mailbox is besieged with beautiful, young, tan women posing in sexy attire from sleepwear to business suits. I finally made it! The little joys in life that we should appreciate.

Where are these mail order catalogues now? In the bathroom, of course! I didn�t want to become a cliche but I recently found out how these catalogues get to this special room. Certainly, the obvious comes to mind � pun not intended. In an emergency, I�m running around the house for something to read because I felt I couldn�t re-read my completed novel and I would be spending some time in this small room. Quickly, the mail stack came to mind and I grabbed the VS catalogue. Ahhhh...the use I�ll get out this...(wink)!

Admiring the scenery of tropical locations with women posing in bras with Brazilian cut bikini bottoms, I thought where are these women? Why am I not meeting them? Well, one, I�m in a bathroom stinking-up the joint and it would be some kind of miracle if one of these desired women walk-in at this most inopportune time.

Perusing the catalogue further and near the middle was an ad for a Sweet smelling V.S. cologne.
Good fortune struck twice for me. First, being able to admire these fine, upstanding beautiful women during a time of desperate, pre-occupational need. Second, if I can�t be with a V.S. model at least I could imagine how the smell because the catalogue instructed me to pull back the adhesive strip to breath in the scent. I pulled it back and brought the magazine to my nose and deeply inhaled � they smell beautiful as I imagined: �sweet� as advertised but with a hint of White Castle.

I just can�t imagine why I�m still single!

Yesterday - Tomorrow

Here we go again... - 10-06-10
fuck you. - 07-02-08
A new blog - 04-13-08
New site: The Running Bob - 03-16-08
Tax Man Encourages Hobbies? - 03-11-08
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