Too Old For Being a Teenager
04-10-06, 12:55 PM

�You should grow a mustache to look older,� I was told by a perspective employer. Unfortunately, this wasn�t the first time in my life I heard similar statements so I didn�t take offense. Cursed or bless, I can�t decide if my young looks benefit or hinder me but, for the love of god though, within six months I�ll turn forty. Yes, forty.

On Saturday, rather than cooking home as planned, I thought to take the �girl� out for a nice dinner, perhaps some wine and a movie. The reason? I can�t show her I�m broke all the time, but more importantly, I never got around to buying groceries.

After a thirty-five minute wait, we sat at our table; mulled over the menu; and, began to order. I also said, �We would like a bottle of Penfold�s wine.�

�You look fine,� the waiter smugly said to the �girl�, �but I will have to ask to see your identification.�

�For real?� I returned using a fourteen year old�s lingo.

�Yes, I have to see if you�re of age.�

We broke out laughing. �Hell yea! You just made my day!�

Embarrassed he returned the driver�s license.

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