UNDER PRESSURE!
04-13-06, 3:30 PM

With four people staring at me for an answer in the field while construction equipment moving dirt, my mind stumbled as I tried to retrace the multiple change orders on a particular drainage system. The pause to think opened a flood gate by a Councilman, �You better have specified this right or they are going to have to send this back. We�ve worked too long on this.�

Under pressure, self-doubt pervades my mind.

Our on-site engineer furthers my self-doubt by stating, �The plans don�t this structure. Matt said they ordered it and it is $70,000.�

Sure enough on his plan is the same structure.

�This may be the plans,� I hesitantly say under my breadth, then turn to the coversheet seeking the Engineer�s wet stamp and date. No stamp or date present. �You have the wrong set of plans.�

�I can�t because Matt produced these from the Consultant�s disk.�

�Well, you need the approved, Engineer�s wet stamp set. I gave them three sets at the pre-construction meeting.�

The Councilman glared at me in disgust as if this was my fault when, if fact, it was the contractor�s. With his trust lost, he more or less commanded that one my co-workers be on-site tomorrow to review a re-design element-- an insult to me.

The rest of the day, I�m filled with self-doubt and feel overwhelmed as I verify my notes and facts. I call the contractor to ensure that we clear and he denies receiving revised plans when I personally gave him three sets at the pre-construction meeting. He was to be the one to disseminate the information to his field workers and purchasing.

A headhunter called for a job in the upper eastern states involved with constructing a ski resort. When I inquired about the title, I knew I wasn�t qualified and should have saved myself from embarrassment to further inquire about the duties. With my self-confidence on the edge, I agreed to the phone interview to take place either tomorrow or sometime next week. I would think to have learned my lesson about being pushed by others when my gut instinct tells me else wise.

Looking for emotional support, I called the girl who, a former therapist, talked me out of my downward spiraling thoughts. I�m functioning once again�but then, the �not the girlfriend� (office flirtations) invited me to her themed �white trash� bowling birthday party on Saturday. I explained that I may show-up but my excuse no long have legs in her view and now feel the pressure to attend.

Sometimes, you just want to be left alone from all duty and esponsibility. Perhaps, I create my own pressure?

I need Queen's "Under Pressure" song.

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