On To Year Three
07-09-06, 10:34 PM

Unbelievable to me is continuing to write in this journal for three years now as of July 1st. Infrequently exciting or interesting, the journal I find now is serving it�s purpose of my recording of my life for future reflection. The added bonus, however, has been to sort out some feelings, vent, plan and try, well actually remind me, to be more optimistic. On to the next year!

�Superman Returns!� Okay, Superman knocks-up Lois Lane and bails n her for five years without saying a word, goodbye. Lois, madly, no insanely in love with Superman, has the child out of wed-lock and shacks-up with a co-worker editor who lacks the backbone to say, �End your emotional ties with Superman and focus on the guy in front of you.� The frail, snot-nosed bastard, �super child� with asthma is also a mommy�s boy who can�t fend for himself, much like the live-in guy he calls �dad�. Superman, a grown man in very tight long underwear, is a voyeuristic freak who sneaks into the bastard child�s bedroom to watch him sleep, yet doesn�t go on trial as a pedophile like Michael Jackson.

Disasters are constant throughout the movie but they weren�t spectacular because they all pretty much happened in real life. I sat that thinking...yea, perhaps a few of the Flight 93 people were jostled around and sticking to the ceiling like the movie; yep, space shuttle probably burnt up like this one did in the movie; the World Trade Center fell very much like these buildings crumbling... Like Santa, Superman doesn�t exist.

Back in the late 70's with the second Superman, the theater was raucous with cheers with Christopher Reeve kicking ass and saving the world. Last night�s theater was dull. The only screeching came from the emotional, pre-teen girls gushing over Superman who failed to realize Superman left Lois Lane to be a single mother because he wasn�t man enough to take care of current responsibilities.

Actually, I was really looking forward to performances by Kevin Spacey and my ever-lasting crush on Parker Posey who would have been a much better Lois Lane than Kate Bosworth who was not believable. What a waste of talent on a lame script. Event the special effects couldn�t keep me interested as I dozed off a few times and prodded awake by my girlfriend who nudged me when I let out a snore or two during the movie. Perhaps with my age and the realities world events, the day won�t be saved by a super human being (or politicians). Oh, but if Superman was real would the politicians deport this illegal alien?

Meanwhile back in reality, the trip to meet the girlfriend�s parents went well over the Fourth of July week-end. I learned that we could travel together � a good sign. The small southern city�s downtown really was quite attractive with a suspension bridge over the river as the focal point. The downtown business district was unlike our downtown because it was active and populated with visitors to restaurants, art galleries or those just taking in the atmosphere on a park bench with trees sparkling white lights.

Making use of my time, we investigated a western portion of the state where I applied for a job. At first, I didn�t enjoy the rural nature because of lack of interesting towns but there was a major university within the county where I could see myself living. So, I wouldn�t cross this one off the list yet. The local applications have not yet resulted in an interview but I hope to hear something this week.
Negotiations...hints toward a long term relationship by the girl and I have been dropped to each other. Meanwhile, a 1.92 carat diamond ring sits in my safe waiting for me to get off the fence. Well, I need to reset the stone and figure-out what to do with the remaining diamonds that adorn it. During my trip, I fell into a melancholy thinking about past girlfriends and irrationally hoped that one would call out of the blue � just to catch-up on our lives. So, I still sit on the fence.

My mom sold nearly all the contents of her house as she prepares to move into a townhome. While driving home, I saw the vultures carrying contents, my family�s belongings, out of the home to their cars. It sickened me. Yet, I must remember these trinkets are just materialistic belongings and don�t provide love, comfort or friendship. Damn, bargain hunting vultures! Damn them!

Last Friday, my mom and dad surprised me by stopping by the office after his Doctor�s visit. He�s declining rapidly and his brain seems to be short circuiting as short term memory is gone and his emotions are on a roller coaster. I think his signal to indicate he is full is gone as well. Eating at the restaurant was a spectacle as he jammed food into mouth and upon his face as he missed the opening. Some people stared...I stared in disbelief but knew it was part of the disease. While loading him into the van, I noticed his stomach was unusually large and round � some as a result of inactivity and eating but I suspect a tumor of some sort.

Change gears... the girl had a brunch party on Saturday where I was introduced to her friends. I think my performance was acceptable. More to feedback to come on Monday.

Lastly, the seventeen mile run this morning was brutal on me as my vision became foggy and I nearly fainted in the intersection. During the run, I suspect my anxiety about ...well everything...jobs, money, house, dad and whether or not �she�s the one� increased my heart rate to an unacceptable level...that and staying up to one a.m., morning sex robbing me of mojo and dehydration were culprits . Maybe, just physically and mentally worn-out?

So, on to year three!

Yesterday - Tomorrow