Middle Aged Guy
06-01-07, 9:09 AM

Over the past few weeks, a series of events and conditions compounded stress to such a degrees that painfully, stinging hives appeared upon the palm of my hands and effected me emotionally that I had to detach myself in order to function. Rattling through my brain was a pending six month job evaluation in light of procedural error when the boss left me in charge; mounting bills from the wedding and a zero balanced bank account; the news that Karen�s job opening isn�t imminent as I once thought and the position could be filled as late as October (temp salary isn�t helping); her family members visiting and having to pay to entertain and feed them when I have no money; the lingering potential of not passing the six month review; and, not only needing a cost of living raise but a merit raise as well. I could go on and on because once I�m on the irrational train of thought, it becomes a run-away train.

Although I was happy to see her sisters, I wasn�t necessarily in the mood to be social yet I buckled-down and took them out for sushi and dropped a hundred. The following day, I played Chauffer taking them to various site-seeing historical and geological sites such as the Indian Cliff dwellers and the lava field, etc. as well as treating them to a Mexican dinner�another $100 plus day. Believing staying in would be cheaper than eating-out, I thought a home cook barbecue would save a few bucks. I spent over $120. I hoped they would offer to buy dinner or contribute but that never happened. None-the-less, it was good to see them and we�ll just have to economize somewhere�tuna for the next two weeks and clear-out the cupboards and refrigerator with some creative meals.

So all my worrying probably wasn�t justified as my review went very well and I received a merit increase, despite my stumble. The bills won�t go away unless I win the lotto, so I need to recognize this as a status quo.

I�m still wrestling with the relationship dynamic of being married. Although I�m happy and much better off now, I still have lingering thoughts of past relationships and desires of people I meet. Probably, too honest with the last sentence but it�s something I�m grappling with at the moment.

We�re running in a local 5 race series of 10k and half-marathons this summer which will lead nicely up to the Milwaukee Marathon on October 7th. Although I registered for the Chicago Marathon, registration abruptly closed before the �little lady� could register. In the end though, this may be a good thing as we will stay in a new city and run in a much smaller race 2,500 vs. 40,000. Hopefully, our times will improve as we won�t be running elbow to elbow the entire race. I�m also excited to see Milwaukee again, as I haven�t been there since college years � almost twenty years and it just seems like yesterday when we road tripped for $4.00 cases of Hamms beer and Summerfest drunken fun.

Due to our lack of funds, our entertainment this week-end will be a 10k race Saturday morning followed by staining the front porch. I�ve become the middle-age guy! What happened to excitement of going to the local bar to watch the Cavs vs. Detroit game 6? Guess I�ll have a beer at home and catch it on the tube�. Middle age guy�

Yesterday - Tomorrow