The Joys of My Job...People Suck.
04-26-06, 11:46 AM

The joys of my job�

I enjoy irate phone callers. The kind that are so worked-up and blasting loudly in the phone that you could hear their blood vessels breaking in their face. The kind that no matter how rational your response and solution is to meet their needs: they just keep screaming away because they only have one solution in mind � theirs.

Our secretary nervously sought my boss and I to accept the phone call as she was already abused over the phone. A baritone voice bombasted us with, �I want this project shut down! It is illegal!� before we could even utter a �hello�. In a calm voice, we inquired as to which project, because there are many, but this only agitated him further and caused him to increase his volume so our entire office now could hear his rant and swearing.

A technique I learned in a workshop geared toward, �How To Deal With an Irate Customer� is to repeat their concern and complaint in order to be clear on the subject and hopefully for them to see rationally their problem. This measure also slow downs the conversation after they exhausted their initial anger thrust. �What is the problem, again? You have concerns about a silt fence, an erosion control plan.� Instead, we hit the hornets nest with a stick! Blood now oozed from the speaker phone as blood vessels exploded on the other end!

�I�ve called the newspapers, the television stations, the GOVERNOR!�

�Okay that is fine. I spoke to the contractor yesterday who said he installed the silt fence. This should offer relief to you.�

�He LIED to you! HE NEVER INSTALLED IT AND I WANT THIS PROJECT SHUT-DOWN!� Meanwhile, our mouths are covered to prevent laughing as our bodies convulsed with the giggles at this man�s exasperated effort to get his �black and white way.�

�I went to the foreman yesterday and told him he installed the fence HALF-ASSED!� Yep, with this contradiction of about the silt fence, he just indicated he is irrational and just wants an audience. Aside, I thought of my grandfather who liked to use the term �half-assed� but he wasn�t an asshole when he used it like this gentleman.

�Okay sir, to be clear, you have concerns about erosion control measure, an erosion control plan and a silt fence that you claimed was not installed but were able to tell the foreman he installed a silt fence half-assed. I�m sorry but I didn�t get your name.�

�It is XXXX.�

�If you have a moment, let me get you in touch with�� we were then cut-off mid-sentence.

�I have to GO NOW! THAT IS THE OTHER LINE! I WANT THE PROJECT SHUT DOWN! I�LL GET AN INJUCTION!�

Oh, the joys of my job� I hate all people equally� People suck.

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