Horizontal Raining Shit Storm
07-15-05, 9:11 PM

I�m just having a rough time. My body is a shell with a void where I�m looking around my surroundings wondering how I got here and I feel as if every decision I made was incorrect over the past ten years. Earlier in the day, I thought this week-end was going to be fine but my job, a government job, permits those on the outside to rain shit all over me because they did not get their way.

Today, thundershowers with horizontal shit smacked me in the face via an email to my superiors by a neighborhood activist that didn�t get her way because I did not have plans to give her and she overstepped her boundaries. My language was probably not so eloquently spoken but no profanity was used and she pushed my buttons. You can only take so much and I became tired looking skyward with my mouth open like a turkey during a shit storm.

Through this correspondence, she complimented one of our departments then fired away with character assignations of my boss then followed by me. She missed on the character part and misconstrued what I said, refused my answers and took a part of the conversation out of context but how do you prove a conversation? Through my superiors� written concern, I wonder if they already jumped to a conclusion? I�m rattled. Christ, at least you would think for them to support an employee?

Immediately, I wanted to respond but thought to take the week-end to regain my composure. I�m amazed at how venomous people can become. I wished I had thicker skin but I don�t. In part, I took this job because I thought I could do some good for a community and for this to happen, I�m in disbelief. Why should I care? Granted, I would like another job because the pay is pathetic but I do take great pride . . . tremendous pride in my work. Literally, my word is all I have and to have a discontent sling shit at me stings and stinks.

Times like this shows my fragile psyche. I have no one to hug and tell me it will be okay. I�d hug my dogs but they gave me a bad case of poison ivy all over my legs. Later in the day I deduced the dogs transferred poison ivy oil onto me by rubbing next to my legs because the rash is only knee high, but that is besides the point.

So now, I have to stew about this all week-end before I can come to resolution on Monday. I want this to roll off my back like water on duck but remember it is raining shit

Yesterday - Tomorrow